Evidence of Physical Injuries

If someone has an obvious physical injury, ask about it as sensitively as possible. Don’t ignore it. The victim may not have had the confidence to talk to anyone before who has believed them, and it may be a relief just to verbalize it. However, be sensitive to the person feeling shame and embarrassment and don’t push too hard. If the person insists that the injuries were caused by an accident but you have reason to believe otherwise, express your concern and offer your availability to talk another time. Mention that there is help available.

Feelings of Depression, Anger, Low Self-Esteem, Suicidal Thoughts

Be alert for signs of depression and anxiety, which may indicate long-term emotional or psychological abuse. Non-physical abuse can have equally devastating effects as physical assault. Severe agitation, anxiety, confused thinking, lack of eye contact or an inability to make decisions may be associated with abuse.

Violence in Family of Origin

If someone grew up in a family where the parents were violent toward each other or toward their children, there is a higher probability of this pattern of abuse being learned than if the person’s family of origin was free of violence. While not everyone who grows up in a violent family goes on to repeat the pattern, either as an abuser or as a victim, this information may be an indication to be alert for other signs.

Isolation

Being isolated from friends and family is often a sign of family violence. The abuser exercises power and control by keeping the victim from having contact with other people. This can often take place gradually, over a period of time until the person being abused has lost contact with friends and family.

Fear

If a person exhibits fear around a partner or parent or extreme concern about displeasing them, this should alert you to the possibility of abuse. Constantly making excuses and covering for their behavior is also a red flag.

Requests for Financial Assistance

If someone talks to you about little or no control over finances, they may be experiencing economic or financial abuse. This can look like being prohibited from getting a job, a partner controlling access to all family resources, having to get “permission” to spend money on basic family needs, etc.